Disability, Aging, Dating, Romance, Relationships, and Sexuality Resources
WARNING: Due to the nature of the topic, some content and links within this page may contain or reference graphic sexual content and therefore may not be suitable for work or young children.
DESCRIPTION: This page contains a variety of information and resources surrounding dating, romance, relationship, and sexuality topics in light of disability and/or aging. This information is presented for individuals experiencing the effects of disability and/or aging, but is equally applicable for the general public -- individuals who do not experience, or have little familiarity with, the effects of disability or aging as well as potential future dates, lovers, and partners. Potential topics include, but are not limited to, common effects, challenges, myths, stereotypes, prejudices, solutions, resources, strategies, techniques, and assistive technology.
NOTE: the majority of resources here relate to physical/mobility-related disability. If you have resource suggestions, especially regarding cognitive, sensory, or other disabilities, please let me know. Thank you for your understanding and contributions!
Please feel free to explore the information below:
A special mailing list exists for individuals and organizations working to develop, implement, and maintain programs providing public awareness, education, and information relating to dating, romance, and sexuality in light of the effects of disability/aging. The primary purpose of the list is professional, individual, and community networking and coordination. Messages will be sent as needed. It is unlikely there will be more than two per month. To sign up, and see a list of other newsletters available, please visit our newsletter section.
The following are a few links to events and presentations geared toward public awareness, education, and information relating to dating, romance, and sexuality in light of the effects of disability/aging:
Sexy Spring V (June 13th-15th, 2008 in Minneapolis, Minnesota) Mingling Disability and/or Aging with Dating, Romance, Relationships, and Sexuality was a very informal and general open discussion among participants of dating, romance, relationship, and sexuality topics in light of disability and/or aging. This workshop was a perfect chance for individuals experiencing various effects of disability and/or aging, past/present partners, family, friends, colleagues, and professionals to share their experiences, knowledge, challenges, solutions, and questions. Equally important, this workshop offered an excellent opportunity for the general public -- individuals who do not experience, or have little familiarity with, the effects of disability or aging as well as potential future dates, lovers, and partners -- to share their curiosities, questions, or concerns. Potential topics included, but were not limited to, common effects, challenges, myths, stereotypes, prejudices, solutions, resources, strategies, techniques, and assistive technology.
Midwest Abilities Expo (September 12th-14th, 2008 in Minneapolis, Minnesota) Disability and Intimacy -- Myths was a short panel presentation and discussion followed by a question-and-answer session.
Sister Kenny Rehabilitation Institute 2009 Educational Series (February 2009) Disability and Intimacy was a 60-minute presentation for cross-disciplinary rehabilitation professionals briefly covering myths, challenges, service motivation, service strategy, key service participants, cross-functional team member roles, service activities, professional awareness, and related resources.
Please feel free to explore a variety of books and videos below:
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette; published by Cleis Press; and dated November 28, 2007 -- ISBN-13: 978-1573443043. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "A must read! This book is for everyone, men and women of all ages and sexual identities, covering the span of disabilities, and pulling together the available information on sex and disability that isn’t aimed at a particular disability. While the authors draw from their own personal experiences and from their professional work, the foundation of this book are survey responses about sex that was distributed to people living with disabilities. Includes 40 pages of resources."
Enabling Romance: A Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships for People with Disabilities (and the People who Care About Them) written by Ken Kroll, published by No Limits Communications, and dated November 1, 2001 -- ISBN-13: 978-0971284203. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "An illustrated guide to intimacy and sexual expression for people with disabilities. Written by a husband and wife team, one of whom has a disability, the book celebrates the desire for love and intimacy. Debunking popular myths and shattering stereotypes, individuals and couples with a variety of disabilities share their stories of intimate experiences with partners – some of whom have disabilities, and some of whom do not. Several chapters are devoted to living and loving with specific disabilities, and others address issues such as sexual variations and alternatives, safe sex and family planning, building self-esteem, and dealing with attendants. Many resources are provided. Several chapters are written according to diagnosis such as spinal cord injury, cerebrovascular accident/stroke, traumatic brain injury, multiple sclerosis, etc.. Generally, it focuses on real life stories that help the reader gain insight."
Disability and the Art of Kissing: Questions and Answers on the
True Nature of Intimacy written by Gary Karp; published by Life On Wheels Press. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "A collection of writings aimed at helping people with disabilities better understand themselves as sexual beings, particularly in the face of a world that is not always positively reinforcing of their sexual expression. Karp is an author, keynote speaker, educator, & wheelchair user devoted to people with disabilities having access to their full potential in life."
Sexuality & Disability (Fourth Edition) written by Maddie Blackburn; published by Butterworth-Heinemann; and dated June 15, 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-0750622523. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "Based on research undertaken in the UK, this handbook focuses primarily on the sexual knowledge and experiences of 100 young adults with spina bifida and/or hydrocephalus. Geared more toward healthcare practitioners and written using heavy research and statistical language. Legal matters are discussed, but the law for the most part relates to the English and Welsh legal systems."
Sexual Positions for Lovers illustrates 32 sex positions in explicit detail in this adult sex education DVD from Better Sex. See special variations on the "rear entry" position and positions using props, like furniture. Learn how to achieve deeper penetration, prolonged intercourse and more satisfying sex, even for those with physical limitations such as back problems, arthritis and pregnancy.
Sexual Function in People with Disability and Chronic Illness: A Health Professional's Guide (First Edition) written by Marca L. Sipski and Craig J. Alexander; published by Aspen Publishers; and dated January 15, 1997 -- ISBN-13: 978-0834208865. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "An excellent, albeit, dense textbook written primarily for medical professionals. A valuable resource spanning topics from general sexual function, to specific disabilities and illnesses, to treatment concerns."
Is Fred Dead? A Manual on Sexuality for Men with Spinal Cord Injuries written by Robert W. Baer; published by Dorrance Publishing Co., Inc.; and dated March 2004 -- ISBN-13: 978-0805964448. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "Addresses issues related to men’s perception of self-worth and self-esteem offering detailed and useful information for resuming sexual relations and developing an increased level of intimacy. Topics include: sexual anatomy, sexual response cycle, erectile dysfunction, fertility techniques, positions, and sexual aids."
Sexuality After Spinal Cord Injury: Answers to Your Questions written by Stanley H. Ducharme and Kathleen M. Gill; published by Brookes Publishing Company; and dated October 1996 -- ISBN-13: 978-1557662651. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "The entire book is written in question-and-answer format providing basic answers to commonly asked questions. A fairly easy read."
Yes, You Can!: Guide to Self-care for Persons With Spinal Cord Injury (3rd Edition) written by Margaret C. Hammond, MD and Stephen C. Burns, MD; published by Paralyzed Veterans of America; and dated January 2000 -- ISBN-13: 978-0929819129. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "A good book for all persons with SCI to own. Chapter 14 is devoted to Sexual Health and Rehabilitation."
Sexuality & Sexual Function, a 51-minute video that is part of the 11-part Secondary Conditions of Spinal Cord Injury Health Education Video Series produced during 2006 by the Birmingham Department of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation at the University of Alabama. The first part of the Sexuality & Sexual Function video explores psychological aspects of sexuality such as expressing sexuality, sexual adjustment, managing personal care issues, confronting issues with body image issues, and working through relationship issues. The second part explores physical aspects of sex following SCI for both men and women. This includes arousal, sexual function and dysfunction, sexual activities, and fertility. This video and series can be downloaded or watched on streaming real media.
Sensuous Wheeler: Sexual Adjustment for the Spinal Cord Injured written by Barry J. Rabin; published by Barry Rabin; and dated March 1980 -- ISBN-13: 978-0960396801. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "Dr. Rabin is a clinical psychologist, sex educator and sex therapist. This book surveys information on sexual functioning in general, but especially with regards to SCI. It also suggests methods for sexual adjustment for disabled individuals."
Sexuality Reborn written by Marca L. Sipski and Craig J. Alexander; produced by Kessler Institute for Rehabilitation; funded by the Paralyzed Veterans of America is a 48 minute video is a frank discussion among four couples about the physical and emotional effects of spinal cord injury. These couples demonstrate and share their personal experiences concerning: self-esteem, dating, bowel and bladder function, sexual response and varying types of sexual activities.
Sexual Options for Paraplegics and Quadriplegics written by Thomas O. Mooney, Theodore M. Cole, and Richard A. Chilgren; published by Little Brown and Company; and dated during 1975. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "While a bit dated, this book offers many sexually explicit photographs and basic educational information."
Living With Stroke: A Guide for Families written by Richard C. Senelick and Karla Dougherty; published by Delmar Cengage Learning; and dated December 14, 2001 -- ISBN-13: 978-1891525100
Sex, Sexuality And The Autism Spectrum written by Wendy Lawson; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated March 15, 2005 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843102847
Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships written by Ashley Stanford and Liane Holliday Willey; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated November 15, 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843107347
An Asperger Marriage written by Chris Slater-Walker, Gisela Slater-Walker, and Tony Attwood; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated February 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843100171
BeautyAbility.com where beauty is acknowledge in everyone, no matter what. It is an edgy, tongue-in-cheek blog on all things disabled (from a disabled woman’s point of view) and with stuff on non-disability stuff too.
Belinda Mason-Lover's Art Exhibits, then click on exhibits, then click on "Intimate Encounters" to view a beautiful and powerful photographic exhibition of 40 works representing the experiences of people with disabilities.
Completely Unperfect contain photos that grapple in artistic form with the themes of nudity and disability, showing with sensitivity yet openly and very directly, that disabled people are absolutely able to develop self-confidence, individual esthetics and eroticism.
Socialization Opportunities (listing does not constitute endorsement)
Meetup Groups meet face-to-face to pursue hobbies, network, get support, make friends, find playgroups or even change the world! Get on the Internet to get off the Internet!
MEETin.org is a word-of-mouth effort to bring people together from all over for fun, low-key events without paying membership fee's.
Letters: Simply a sex site for disabled people published September 26, 2009 by The Guardian in relation to TLC Trust, a website in the UK aiming to connect disabled men and women to responsible sex workers, therapists, and teachers
Sexuality Information & Education Council of the U.S. affirms that sexuality is a fundamental part of being human, one that is worthy of dignity and respect. We advocate for the right of all people to accurate information, comprehensive education about sexuality, and sexual health services. SIECUS works to create a world that ensures social justice and sexual rights. SIECUS educates, advocates, and informs.
American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is a not-for-profit, interdisciplinary professional organization. In addition to sexuality educators, sexuality counselors and sex therapists, AASECT members include physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, allied health professionals, clergy members, lawyers, sociologists, marriage and family counselors and therapists, family planning specialists and researchers, as well as students in relevant professional disciplines. These individuals share an interest in promoting understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior.
Come As You Are -- sexually-oriented product company that is dedicated to accessibility for individuals and couples experiencing a wide variety of life challenges. Also unique in that the organization is cooperatively owned and operated, of which many members are considered experts regarding disability in sexuality topics.
Come As You Are -- sexually-oriented product company that is dedicated to accessibility for individuals and couples experiencing a wide variety of life challenges. Also unique in that the organization is cooperatively owned and operated, of which many members are considered experts regarding disability in sexuality topics.
Ms. LaVie's School of Loving Arts is a school for adults who want to learn more about themselves and their relationships. It offers courses, special events, and weekend retreats for adults on topics pertaining to sexuality, love and relationships. Ms. LaVie's School of Loving Arts offers a sex-positive, experiential learning environment for individuals interested in exploring ways to become more loving with themselves and the significant people in their lives. Individuals come together in an environment that is joyful, non-shaming, and healing to learn, share ideas, enjoy the company of other open-minded adults, and grow personally and spiritually. 612-825-0886
Sexworld is one of the largest regional adult sex toy and equipment retailers. Located at 241 2nd Avenue North, Minneapolis, MN; 612-672-0556 [Google Map]
The Smitten Kitten is a progressive adult sex toys and equipment retailer specializing in the highest quality, safest and smartest selection of products available. They offer hard-to-find, hand-crafted toys, plus the most cutting-edge information and resources. Located at 3010 Lyndale Avenue South in Minneapolis, MN; 612-721-6088 [Google Map]
Awakenings is a specialty gift store dedicated to providing women and couples a classy, sophisticated, non-threatening and relaxing atmosphere in which to browse and shop for bath and body products, candles, aromatherapy, massage oils, erotic gifts for adults, books, and other items that will contribute to enhancing intimacy, sexual health and education, and building stronger relationships. Although they cater to men as well, their primary focus is on addressing the needs of women. They are therefore staffed primarily by women and seek to address topics that are specific to women. Located at 32 Dunlap Street South, Saint Paul, MN; 651-222-4095 [Google Map]
Tantus, Inc. is an innovator in design and function, capturing the science of sensation through anatomically targeted toys designed with safety, quality, and pleasure in mind, manufacturing the world's best soft toys for adults. All products are hand-made from the highest quality 100% Ultra-Premium Platinum Silicone. All products are hypoallergenic, hygienic, phthalate free, odorless, tasteless, boilable, bleachable and even dishwasher-safe.
Jollies promotes women’s sexual health through state-of-the-art design and silicone manufacturing technology, with over 20 years experience designing silicone products for the medical industry. All products are hand-made from premium silicone blends that are hypoallergenic, easily cleaned and functional.
]
Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette; published by Cleis Press; and dated November 28, 2007 -- ISBN-13: 978-1573443043. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "A must read! This book is for everyone, men and women of all ages and sexual identities, covering the span of disabilities, and pulling together the available information on sex and disability that isn’t aimed at a particular disability. While the authors draw from their own personal experiences and from their professional work, the foundation of this book are survey responses about sex that was distributed to people living with disabilities. Includes 40 pages of resources."
written by Ken Kroll, published by No Limits Communications, and dated November 1, 2001 -- ISBN-13: 978-0971284203. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "An illustrated guide to intimacy and sexual expression for people with disabilities. Written by a husband and wife team, one of whom has a disability, the book celebrates the desire for love and intimacy. Debunking popular myths and shattering stereotypes, individuals and couples with a variety of disabilities share their stories of intimate experiences with partners – some of whom have disabilities, and some of whom do not. Several chapters are devoted to living and loving with specific disabilities, and others address issues such as sexual variations and alternatives, safe sex and family planning, building self-esteem, and dealing with attendants. Many resources are provided. Several chapters are written according to diagnosis such as spinal cord injury, cerebrovascular accident/stroke, traumatic brain injury, multiple sclerosis, etc.. Generally, it focuses on real life stories that help the reader gain insight."
written by Maddie Blackburn; published by Butterworth-Heinemann; and dated June 15, 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-0750622523. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "Based on research undertaken in the UK, this handbook focuses primarily on the sexual knowledge and experiences of 100 young adults with spina bifida and/or hydrocephalus. Geared more toward healthcare practitioners and written using heavy research and statistical language. Legal matters are discussed, but the law for the most part relates to the English and Welsh legal systems."
written by Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells, and Dominic Davies; published by Continuum International Publishing Group; and dated March 1997 -- ISBN-13: 978-0304333295
written by Tonya Daughrity; published by AuthorHouse; and dated November 23, 2005 -- ISBN-13: 978-1420897517
edited by Arthur E. Dell Orto and Paul W. Power; published by Springer Publishing Company; and dated April 2, 2007 -- ISBN-13: 978-0826102447
written by Marca L. Sipski and Craig J. Alexander; published by Aspen Publishers; and dated January 15, 1997 -- ISBN-13: 978-0834208865. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "An excellent, albeit, dense textbook written primarily for medical professionals. A valuable resource spanning topics from general sexual function, to specific disabilities and illnesses, to treatment concerns."
written by Maureen E. Neistadt and Maureen Greda; published by Krieger Publishing Company; and dated May 1, 1987 -- ISBN-13: 978-0898749038
written by Robert W. Baer; published by Dorrance Publishing Co., Inc.; and dated March 2004 -- ISBN-13: 978-0805964448. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "Addresses issues related to men’s perception of self-worth and self-esteem offering detailed and useful information for resuming sexual relations and developing an increased level of intimacy. Topics include: sexual anatomy, sexual response cycle, erectile dysfunction, fertility techniques, positions, and sexual aids."
written by Stanley H. Ducharme and Kathleen M. Gill; published by Brookes Publishing Company; and dated October 1996 -- ISBN-13: 978-1557662651. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "The entire book is written in question-and-answer format providing basic answers to commonly asked questions. A fairly easy read."
written by Margaret C. Hammond, MD and Stephen C. Burns, MD; published by Paralyzed Veterans of America; and dated January 2000 -- ISBN-13: 978-0929819129. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "A good book for all persons with SCI to own. Chapter 14 is devoted to Sexual Health and Rehabilitation."
written by Barry J. Rabin; published by Barry Rabin; and dated March 1980 -- ISBN-13: 978-0960396801. Angela Liuzzi (OTR/L) Comments: "Dr. Rabin is a clinical psychologist, sex educator and sex therapist. This book surveys information on sexual functioning in general, but especially with regards to SCI. It also suggests methods for sexual adjustment for disabled individuals."
written by Esther Isabelle Wilder; published by Vanderbilt University Press; and dated September 29, 2006 -- ISBN-13: 978-0826515353
written by Ernest R. Griffith and Sally Lemberg; published by F. A. Davis Company; and dated January 15, 1993 -- ISBN-13: 978-0803644083
written by Richard C. Senelick and Karla Dougherty; published by Delmar Cengage Learning; and dated December 14, 2001 -- ISBN-13: 978-1891525100
written by Emilia Murray Ramey and Jody John Ramey; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated March 15, 2008 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843108818
written by Wendy Lawson; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated March 15, 2005 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843102847
written by Jerry Newport, Mary Newport, and Teresa Bolick; published by Future Horizons; and dated July 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-1885477880
written by Gevevieve Edmonds and Luke Beardon; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated April 15, 2008 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843106470
written by Isabelle Henault and Tony Attwood; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated October 30, 2005 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843101895
written by Sarah Attwood and Jonathan Powell; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated May 15, 2008 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843103745
written by Sarah Hendrickx and Stephen Shore; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers and dated April 15, 2008 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843106050
written by Jonathan Griffiths and Hugh Jones; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated January 15, 2008 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843106302
written by Maxine C. Aston; published by Autism Asperger Publishing Company; and dated February 11, 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-1931282048
written by Ashley Stanford and Liane Holliday Willey; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated November 15, 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843107347
written by Maxine C. Aston; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated April 2003 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843101154
written by Katrin Bentley and Tony Attwood; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated May 15, 2007 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843105374
written by Chris Slater-Walker, Gisela Slater-Walker, and Tony Attwood; published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers; and dated February 2002 -- ISBN-13: 978-1843100171
